Mellie was doing interracialmatch.com. Mellie met Randall. Randall had his life together, was a large black man, and was really into Mellie. He used terms like "baby girl" but all in all, was a gentleman.
Mellie was not feeling it. And since Randall seemed like such a good catch and because Mellie was not feeling it she decided she needed to try him on for size...Saturday night, Randall invited Mellie over for dinner -at his place.
The Ultimate Trial and Error. In order to see if there was ever going to be a possibility for chemistry, she slept with him. Twice. In one night. Not because she wanted to, but because she felt she had to.
It didn't help. She broke up with him. The next night, she went to her old hookup's house and had great sex all night. In his mama's basement. On a pool table.
When Mellie told me this story, several thoughts ran through my mind.
Is this what it has come to for us single thirty-somethings? Are we in such a rush to find the right person that we will fast forward parts of the relationship that will test chemistry immediately? What used to happen in six months now needs to happen in two dates.
But the risk of this is that chemistry is a dangerous little trick. You know who I have chemistry with? Losers. Mellie's the same. A lot of us are. In the rush to feel the rush, we fall for guys that have charisma, sexy eyes, smooth voices, minimum wage jobs, mama issues, commitment phobias, and more interest in their cars than their 401K's.
But hand me a sweet, responsible, intelligent God-fearing man, I will give him about fifteen minutes of my time before I shove him to the side in pursuit of shivers up my spine.
There have to HAVE TO be men out there that have their shit together and are still attractive to the opposite sex. Where are they?!?! I am losing my mind and several of my morals in this quest. Obama needs to skip health care and instead focus on a law that requires all quality, single men and women to be put in a line up where we can just look at each other. It would be a law so there would not the be the stigma of online dating or set ups. You have to do it or you get shot. Period. That would be lovely.
Now I must go and write my congresswoman.
Until Next Friday,
Pauline
PS. enjoy your halloweeen!
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4 comments:
A) Honey, at your age, most of the top tier men are happily taken and not looking.
B) Many blue collar men I have known are in that position because they screwed up somewhere along the path.
C) Men looking to sleep with a woman so quickly usually don't have interest in her outside of casual sex.
D) Acting like a tramp will get you treated like a tramp.
E) If you're having and have had consistent problems finding the right relationship fit, it's certainly time to take a critical look at yourself.
F) There are still good men out there, but it takes effort and they usually won't be in bars expecting to find a "nice girl".
G) There is a stigma associated with online dating? I'm in a long-term relationship, but most of my single girlfriends have or do use online dating to meet people.
I'll second your lineup idea. Sounds like a good way to boot my nerve-wracked ass into the dating world.
- Lee
Heard about the cop. Can't wait till this week's post!!!
A) Our age? What are we talking about wine or something? and if you think your "taken" man is not looking you need to rethink cause I get hit on by taken man ALL the time.
B) OK thanks..
C) How would you know you are a chick..
D) Hum.. funny cause I thought it got you a fun time.I fell in love with and married the man I had a one night stand with.
E) Thank you Dr. Phill- now go away
F) again see (C)
G) wonderful.
p.s now go away :)
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