Question #1:
What do you do if silly putty (see last blog) gets his stuff together right after you and turns out to live a perfect, happy life without you??? Take pride in the fact you got him there and wait for karma to kick in?
Thanks for the question Shay. Has one of your many many crazies gotten it together or are you hypothesizing?
Two fold answer here.
First of all I have returned to some exes that claim they have gotten their shit together and at first, it does seem as though they had. Quinn and Jake were both exes and at first both seemed to have crossed the border into manhood. For the first - ohhhh - 3 weeks. Then the little moments started occurring: forgotten phone calls, random girls calling in the middle of the night, little angry freak outs aimed at perfect strangers, etc. So I don't believe that a jackass changes its
spots too often. Maturity makes a difference, but at 30+, the deal is sealed.
Secondly- and this may come off harsh- maybe you can't heal the world. You might not have been what he needed. Why should a man (or woman) be good for only us? There might be a better -GASP- girlfriend out there. What's more, if this man miraculously turns out to be a keeper in the end, then you might have been part of the problem. The dreaded "enabler." Did you allow him to smoke pot before dinner with your parents? Did you pay for dinner when he accidentally forgot to pay his last car payment, resulting in a late fee that depleted his bank account for the next 2 weeks? Did you pay every month this happened?
Question #2:
My problem is that I am someone else's silly putty...the "one that got away" and he regrets f-ing up and losing. And now he won't go away and leave me alone. I have the new man, who more than erased the ex in my mind, but what the hell do you do when you are the silly putty in someone else's mind and you don't wanna be?! grrrrrr!
Animalgrl,
Take if from a girl who has notes put in a Ziploc and placed on her windshield in the middle of the night that there is nothing you can do. I tried talking to ex-boyfriends who wouldn't leave me alone and reasoning with them that I was never going to be with them. It doesn't help. You must go on a no communication initiative. That means none. Not even to tell them to leave you alone. Block phone numbers and emails, unfriend from Facebook, and never answer the door when they knock. Eventually they will go away. If not...taser them.
Until Next Friday,
Pauline
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3 comments:
I was alluding to B.J., but your right--few of my other crazies have yet to make it out of crazidom. I agree with option 2, though--his next girlfriend/wife/mother of children was WAY better for him. Just trying to give ya some fodder for the ADBF mill. I totally agree with your wisdom.
Another alternative to question 2 - Threaten to destroy their livelihood by informing authorities of their stalker tendencies.
If they value their ability to get a job, they'll stop right quick.
- Lee
Thanks for the advice. I had initiated the no communication initiative over a year and a half ago...moving to another state helped, but moving back started him up again :/ I can hold up my end, him not so much. Guess I'll be pricing out tasers.... :)
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